I am so unbelievably happy beyond belief!! Dave got a job!!! Im so happy...maybe now he will feel better about himself that hes helping to support the household. :) The job hes at right this second is only a temp job...two days BUT, he will start another job on Monday ( hes going through a temp agency) which will pay a dollar more. :) I just cant stop smiling.
On another note, i just cant believe that he and i are coming up on our 6 month anniversary of being together. Its amazing. He makes me so unbelievably happy and i just love him so much...THere are times that i have doubts but thats just in my own mind. With the way things ended with my exhusband and how Cameron died so suddenly, i never thought that id find a love like that EVER again like i had with Cameron. But, now i know that Cameron SENT dave to me. He didnt want me to be lonely and alone and doing it on my own anymore...since he died, ive been doing the best that i could raising my three girls by myself....and things have been great...Its funny how MUCH Cameron and dave are alike. And i think thats why dave was sent to me...and its funny as well how much time had gone by between his last relationship and me...6 YEARS...and he was celibate the whole time...( and i have it on good authority that he was, it wasnt just him telling me so)...its just soooooooo right with him. I cant describe this love that i have for this man and i dont know how cameron even found him for me but i just know that he did...there have been SO many signs that i cant even begin to explain, i just know that hes it.
But, while im happy...no, wait a minute....DELIRIOUSLY happy, im scared as well and Dave knows as much. He can read my thoughts and every once in a while will say to me "Baby, its going to be ok. We'll make it..." ( BTW, i HATE it when he does that sometimes...LOL) Even though i hear him say that, i still have this fear in the back of my mind that something will happen to him...Just like with my exhusband ( whom i NEVER EVER should have been with NOR should have married in the first place) and with cameron...But i know its just my fears talking and i should just shove them away. Everything will be fine. I have faith that Cameron and the Goddess and God knew what they were doing when they put Dave in my life. It SUCKS that Cameron had to die for me to FIND Dave but it happened....I see now that Cameron was just a stepping stone to get TO Dave...me and camerons relationship started to get rocky right before he died and i really wish that i could have had the chance to tell him Im sorry for all the fights and bickering etc etc...but im sure that he knows now....
He was the sweetest man, the most helpful, the most loving daddy i have ever seen. He took my daughter Lilia and treated her like his own. He had even planned on adopting her as his since her deadbeat asshole of a father didnt want anything to do with her. After her died, I asked his family if they would mind if i changed her last name to theirs since my youngest two, mine and all of theirs was the same thing...they told me theyd be honored if i did that. And i did. THe courts had no problems with me doing that. And i KNEW that Cameron was with me that day in court as the judge pronounced her officially a Champion. I cried and laughed and cackled the whole way home out of sheer happiness....He finally got what he wanted as fara as Lilia was concerned. She was his....
I will always be thankful for Cameron and what he did for me and Lilia...there were many many things that he did and i appreciate him for them and sometimes i really wish that i could have told him verbally myself before he died, but im sure he knows now, hes watching me and the girls and making sure everything is ok. and things are....they really really are.
Ok, so before you read the current situation, i guess i should inform you on the blog that i had BEFORE so that it can update you on the current situation...So, here is the previous blog post that i posted before:
ok, so, i have this friend right? Shes supposed to be my BEST FRIEND and lately, shes been pissing me off in ALOT of ways...she has two children, one of which she doesnt have custody of because my friend was SERIOUSLY fucking up ( her mother has her)...well, then she goes and has ANOTHER child when she is homeless, LITERALLY living on the streets...well, she starts getting her shit together, getting a job, getting an apartment..ya know, genuinely doing really good....and then her apartment building gets condemned, so, she ( as well as her new baby AND her new husband by this point) are back to square one, bouncing from house to house until her Dad lets her move into a place on one of his properties ( a seasonal worker building, which isnt supposed to be used year round)...she had fixed it up, doing ALOT of work on it to make it liveable and then.................the cold winter comes..........flash foward to January 19th this year and she kicks her husband out ( after many many many struggles with him)...flash forward three days after that she meets my fiancee's identical twin brother, starts dating HIM ( THREE DAYS AFTER KICKING HER HUSBAND OUT) and then things start falling to shit AGAIN with her...she up and QUITS her job ( a REAAAAAAAAALLLLY great PAYING job...$15 an hour!! shes NEVER made that much at any job, EVER)...now, shes living in SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE (because her house has no heat) AGAIN....not to mention the fact that her daughter, who is only 6 months YOUNGER then MY holli ( holli will be 3 in June) can ONLY say Ju when she wants juice and the word No...THEN she whines...CONSTANTLY...to the point that even though i love her like shes my own, i cant STAND when shes over because alls her mother ( my friend) does is scream at her and then after that, alls she does is scream and cry....now, this girl is supposed to be MY BEST FRIEND, mind you, and she doesnt call me anymore or anything, ever since she got with my fiancees brother...i figured it would make things better, we'd hang out more etc etc, but no, it just seems like shes choosing cock over her kid and friendship...I called her a bit ago and after a few minutes of idle chit chat, the conversation basically went like this:
Me: So, what, is Linda your new best friend now?
Her: Nooooo...
Me: Well, it just seems like it, you NEVER EVER call me anymore, its always me calling you...( and this is where she went apeshit)
Her: I DONT HAVE A CELL PHONE ( she broke hers after another argument she had with someone else) AND IM LIVING IN SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE!!! I DONT WANNA USE THIER PHONE!!!!
...at this point i told her she needs to calm down because alls i was doing was telling her how i feel and she continued to SCREAM at me...I then told her she needs to stop screaming at me and then she had the fucking gall to HANG UP ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO pissed off beyond belief its unreal...my other best friend cant believe that this friend is doing this...shes a massive mess and i feel like i cant keep picking up the pieces of her life...shes emotionally draining me and not taking care of her responsibilities as a friend, as a mother as a woman...I am just so tired of having to deal with this every time she comes back into the picture...this is the THIRD time i have let her come back into my life as a friend..ive walked away twice before and shes come back 6 months to a year afterwards apologizing and all that and, like the true overlooking friend that i can be, i accepted her back into my life and now, shes pulling the shit AGAIN...Do i just walk away again?? Ive been friends with her for over 4 years now and i just dont know what to do...She was also supposed to be my maitron of honor in my wedding in 14 months...now, i really dont know what to do..
Soooooooooooooo, after a few weeks of her acting like she didnt need me and blah blah blah...THEN, she all of a sudden emailed me on myspace asking for a favor and crawling back to me just like i predicted she would....she was back for a while and then this man ( my fiances TWIN brother) got tired of her because she is a VERY VERY controlling manipulative needed clingy person....she shirks her responsibilties, quits a really good paying job and blah blah...then she starts her shit again, telling my fiances mother that im a witch ( which, i mean, im out of the broom closet but still, its MY place to tell her, NOT hers...thats kind of like outting someone whos gay...) and saying all these other horrid things when all's ive ever done is try to help her...SOOOOOOOOO here's an update on that situation:
WOOHOOO, good riddance......
Doncha just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it when you are totally right about something??? Well, i have blogged about this person before and i feel the need to blog about her again...KIM...once again, shes gone and done it. She didnt learn her lesson when i cut her off BOTH of the other times and this time I am done beyond done. The bitch cannot be trusted, so, i cut her from my life...and whats more, shes trying to cause problems between Daves brother and his family and blaming it on...you guessed it..ME...of course, they all KNOW shes fuckin crazy, shes a terrible mother who does NOTHING but scream at her kid all day, bitch about how terrible her life is, how her (now EX) boyfriend ( yes, DAVE's brother...he FINALLY smartened up and got rid of the bitch) wouldnt give her sex...we all KNEW she was probably trying to get pregnant even though she should truthfully probably be sterilized......we all think that she poked holes in the condoms which is why daves brother wouldnt TOUCH her....
Anyway, i was FINALLY able to break the news to her that daves brother didnt want to be with her anymore...they have avoided telling her because she is the kind of person who makes a scene, flips out etc etc but thy finally let me say something to her cause THEY didnt have the balls to do it...sooooo, we're finally free of her....PERIOD. NO MORE...ive had it with her......completely...this was the LAST time she comes to me...next time she tries to come to me for help...im just gonna either hang up on her or slam the door in her face. if she thinks that she can come to me asking to stay with me, im gonna laugh at her...she had her chance....many many mannnnnnnyyy chances. this was the last chance....and, just like i predicted the last time she did this, she came crawling back to me when she needed something...well, ya know what?? this well has run wayyyyyyyyyyy dryyyyyyy......completely. in friendship, in advice and in every other way. I tried telling her not to rush things, i tried telling her to take it easy with steve, i tried telling her that she was moving to fast and this is what happens...she gets shit on again and IM the one she tried coming to...AGAIN. this time, im for real. she dicked me one to many times...the last time she did it and i let her crawl back but i was only her friend on an aquaintence at arms length distance....and now she really has no where else to go for friendship. she fucks over every single one of her friends at one time or another and i truthfully feel sorry for her kids. ive done nothing but try to help her on so many many levels, her parents have tried to help her on many many levels her grandparents, even people she used to work with tried to help her but she shit on EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. she has burnt every bridge shes ever gonna cross...she COULD HAVE made it work with daves brother if she hadnt have been so coniving, so manipulative, so controlling, so lazy...she could have made it work with him if she HADNT quit her $15 an hour job and was a responsible adult. Now shes gonna hop from guy to guy as she usually does...Ive known this girl for 5 years and she has not changed ONE little bit...youd THINK that shed learn from her mistakes but not ONCE has she EVER gotten out of her own messes. Ive had to save her from the last several and im not doing it anymore. and neither is anyone around me that she knew. none of my friends will have anything to do with her, they laugh at her, make fun of her because they all know how much of a piece of trash she is. so, i say farewell to yesterdays garbage. wE TRIED to help you but when times got rough you shit all over us. Good riddance.
Oy..ok, so, Wednesday i had to go pick my fiance up from the jail and of course, if youve read my past couple blogs you know that i hadnt seen him in a few days soooooo....i dressed up for him in a REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAALY skimpy skirt and a nice top...I straightened my hair and of course did my make up.....i looked TOTALLY AWESOMETASTIC KICKASS...anyway, we get back to our apartment (which btw, has ALOOOOOOOOT of senior citizens) and we're getting the kids out of the car...this woman sees me and stops DEAD in her tracks and STARES at me ALLLLLLLLLLL the way back to my apartment (we live at the end of the building down this loooooooooooooooonnnggggg walkway) until she cant see us anymore...i swear to gods, she acts like she hasnt seen anyone tatted up with different colored hair before...So, i yell out "Whats the matter, never seen anyone with purple hair before? Why dont you take a picture, it'll last longer..." now, before you start to lecture me on being nice to our older generation, i AM normally very nice to them but she was FUCKING GAWKING at me like i had 8 heads...WTF!? Normally, there are cooler older people that make some kind of "My, your hair is interesting" comments but some people can just be soooooo rude sometimes...so WHAT i have tattoos and so WHAT im pierced and have different colored hair and SO WHAT i have 3 kids and look like i do......having tattoos, piercings and not "normal" colored hair doesnt make me ANY less of a mother...OR any less of a person....she looked me up and down like i was some kind of common street whore....just cause i had a REEEEEEEALY skimpy skirt on doesnt make me one...and BTW, i looked HOT!!! :) SOME people sometimes, i swear...LIGHTEN up, its 2007 NOT 1947!!!
