I am so unbelievably happy beyond belief!! Dave got a job!!! Im so happy...maybe now he will feel better about himself that hes helping to support the household. :) The job hes at right this second is only a temp job...two days BUT, he will start another job on Monday ( hes going through a temp agency) which will pay a dollar more. :) I just cant stop smiling.
On another note, i just cant believe that he and i are coming up on our 6 month anniversary of being together. Its amazing. He makes me so unbelievably happy and i just love him so much...THere are times that i have doubts but thats just in my own mind. With the way things ended with my exhusband and how Cameron died so suddenly, i never thought that id find a love like that EVER again like i had with Cameron. But, now i know that Cameron SENT dave to me. He didnt want me to be lonely and alone and doing it on my own anymore...since he died, ive been doing the best that i could raising my three girls by myself....and things have been great...Its funny how MUCH Cameron and dave are alike. And i think thats why dave was sent to me...and its funny as well how much time had gone by between his last relationship and me...6 YEARS...and he was celibate the whole time...( and i have it on good authority that he was, it wasnt just him telling me so)...its just soooooooo right with him. I cant describe this love that i have for this man and i dont know how cameron even found him for me but i just know that he did...there have been SO many signs that i cant even begin to explain, i just know that hes it.
But, while im happy...no, wait a minute....DELIRIOUSLY happy, im scared as well and Dave knows as much. He can read my thoughts and every once in a while will say to me "Baby, its going to be ok. We'll make it..." ( BTW, i HATE it when he does that sometimes...LOL) Even though i hear him say that, i still have this fear in the back of my mind that something will happen to him...Just like with my exhusband ( whom i NEVER EVER should have been with NOR should have married in the first place) and with cameron...But i know its just my fears talking and i should just shove them away. Everything will be fine. I have faith that Cameron and the Goddess and God knew what they were doing when they put Dave in my life. It SUCKS that Cameron had to die for me to FIND Dave but it happened....I see now that Cameron was just a stepping stone to get TO Dave...me and camerons relationship started to get rocky right before he died and i really wish that i could have had the chance to tell him Im sorry for all the fights and bickering etc etc...but im sure that he knows now....
He was the sweetest man, the most helpful, the most loving daddy i have ever seen. He took my daughter Lilia and treated her like his own. He had even planned on adopting her as his since her deadbeat asshole of a father didnt want anything to do with her. After her died, I asked his family if they would mind if i changed her last name to theirs since my youngest two, mine and all of theirs was the same thing...they told me theyd be honored if i did that. And i did. THe courts had no problems with me doing that. And i KNEW that Cameron was with me that day in court as the judge pronounced her officially a Champion. I cried and laughed and cackled the whole way home out of sheer happiness....He finally got what he wanted as fara as Lilia was concerned. She was his....
I will always be thankful for Cameron and what he did for me and Lilia...there were many many things that he did and i appreciate him for them and sometimes i really wish that i could have told him verbally myself before he died, but im sure he knows now, hes watching me and the girls and making sure everything is ok. and things are....they really really are.